Being an adult sucks — there’s the endless pressure to act like one, the demands of work and personal and interpersonal relationships, and the responsibility to take care of yourself.
To survive and thrive we need a hell of a lot of energy, both physically and mentally (emotionally).
We are energy beings. Life is energy, projected and received in various ways.
So what could be worse than someone sucking that energy out of your life and reducing your ability to cope with your everyday challenges and chores?
Well, what's worse is not really knowing it is happening and why, and ending up demotivated, stressed and even depressed because of it.
In this post, I'm going to help you identify the energy vampires in your life and give you some solid tips on how to stop being a victim and take back responsibility for your own energy: your happiness, health, and vitality
What Are Energy Vampires, and Are You a Victim?
If you’ve ever had an encounter with a person that left you feeling tired, drained, or even feeling guilty for something that isn't your fault, then you may well have been a victim of an energy vampire.
Energy vampires are quite simply those people around you that suck the life/energy out of you, leaving you feeling drained, energy-less, and even depressed.
You see, people operating on low energy subconsciously seek to recharge themselves by leeching energy from other people.
The thing is, an energy vampire is not necessarily conscious of what they are doing, and may be in an emotionally unstable state through no fault of their own.
Regardless, energy theft can harm both the perpetrator and the victim, and it's important to be aware of how.
For example, feeding off the energy of others can…
- Negatively empower the perpetrator, giving them increased energy to carry on feeding their ego.
- Create conflict and spoil social interactions.
- Mask the true self: the person is playing a role that hinders them from unlocking their potential and becoming secure with who they really are.
- Harms the victim and may influence them to take on similar characteristics. Among groups of friends, this may be contagious and lead to cyclical energy theft.
The 6 Key Different Types of Energy Vampire
To prepare for and guard yourself against energy vampires it is vital to recognize their strategies. Setting boundaries for such people will be easier once you learn to identify the way in which they operate.
There are six main types of energy-sucking vampires, and who knows, perhaps one or more of these have been lurking around your life for some time.
1. The Dominator Vampire
Superiority is the name of the game for dominator vampires. These vampires love to be in control and intimidate their victims.
Often, dominator vampires have a number of insecurities around being hurt, wronged, or weakened by others, so they try to conceal the emotional trauma by dominating/taking control of others.
Generally, this type of vampire has rigid opinions and cynical perceptions of life, which may make them discriminatory and prejudiced.
2. The Judgmental Vampire
From a bird’s eye view, judgmental vampires love to bully other people, but zoom in a little closer and you’ll see their own shattered self-worth.
They feed their ego by highlighting and making fun of your insecurities until you feel pathetic and small. Basically, judgmental vampires treat others just how they treat themselves.
3. The Melodramatic Vampire
If there was an energy vampire Oscars, the melodramatic vampire would take home the award for best actor.
As implied by the name, melodramatic vampires have the need to create drama, mainly because they need to feed the void they feel inside.
They love a crisis and being involved in problematic situations. They thrive on being victimized and therefore are in need of attention and love. Your energy will be drained when you get sucked into the drama they create.
4. The Narcissistic Vampire
We’re all aware of people who are narcissists — those who lack empathy for others and have a need for admiration. People with this condition are frequently described as arrogant, self-centered, manipulative and demanding.
Narcissist energy vampires are the same: they don’t have a genuine interest in others. Their motto is “me, me, me”.
They are manipulative: They charm you, leaving you powerless to fend off their influence to put them first at all costs, and massage their ego.
5. The Victim Vampire
Also known as martyr vampires, victim vampires target you through guilt. Usually, this type of person has remarkably low self-esteem.
They believe that their suffering is mainly due to others, so instead of taking responsibility for their lot in life, they blame and emotionally pressure others.
Victim vampires don’t receive enough love and acceptance from others, and this unworthiness makes them prey on your energy until you feel overly compassionate. Once you're sucked in, you feel guilty if you don't pay them attention and subsequently end up giving more than you can afford.
6. The Innocent Vampire
There are energy vampires who are innocent and aren’t aware that they’re stealing the energy of those around them.
Good examples are your overly dependent friends who rely on you that bit too much, and children in the family who see you as their caretaker and become overly needy of you.
While it’s great that you show compassion to these people, it’s important to motivate them to be self-reliant.
15 Ways to Manage Energy Vampires
As with blood-sucking vampires, most energy vampires can’t steal your energy if you don’t invite them to.
You have free will: you have a choice as to how much time and energy to spend with and give other people. You can and should set limits and boundaries because, at the end of the day, you’re always at a disadvantage if you let others suck the life out of you.
1. Recognize the Issue & Step Back
If you’re naturally compassionate, you are at risk of giving too much of your energy away. So when a person is causing you to feel exhausted, irritated, stressed, or depressed, you should take a step back and consider your position.
Recognizing people’s intentions is the first step: only then can you weigh up the situation and decide whether the relationship is healthy or not.
Take stock of the actions and intentions of those in your life. If a relationship is valueless, cut it off. If it concerns family and close friends, considering working it out with the help of a professional.
Don’t let the negativity of others leech your energy. You will end up worse off.
2. Manage Your Time Efficiently
Attending to a good friend’s or family member’s needs is a wonderful thing to do, but remember that as much as they need you, you need time to yourself, too.
It’s not worth sitting around someone for hours on end only to leave tired and stressed. Know your energy limits and live according to them. Set aside time for others but leave enough for focus and attention on yourself.
3. Choose Your Battles Carefully
Arguing with others, particularly those who have rigid beliefs, will only cost you time and energy. While it’s tempting to disagree and argue it out, recognize that for people to change, they must be willing to change first.
Don't get red-faced and exhausted debating with someone who refuses to even consider your point. You'll leave stressed, upset and maybe even lose sleep. Not good.
4. Keep Your Vibration Elevated
Some energy vampires don’t want to see a positive reaction from you; they want you to feel depleted and depressed, like they do inside. As a preference they go for people with lower vibrations, as they are easier to penetrate (ooh er, missus. Sorry).
So, keep your vibration level high by smiling and staying positive about life. As the Beach Boys famously sung: ‘Gotta keep those lovin' good vibrations a happenin'.
5. Avoidance
One direct way to prevent energy vampires from leeching off you is to avoid them.
This isn’t always the best method though, as you might be throwing away an opportunity to develop yourself in dealing with such a person, and depending on how close the person is to you, a invaluable relationship might be at stake.
Use avoidance when your energy is low and you simply can't deal with the person at that moment in time.
6. Don’t Post Your Entire Life on Social Media
Posting your life as you live it on social media is a good way to attract energy vampires, particularly the judgmental type.
Avoid letting other people know about your secrets, news, plans, or opinions through Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.
Only post the information you’re prepared to be criticized about; otherwise, keep your fingers away from the ‘post something’ section.
7. Minimize the Impact with Group Interaction
When interacting with a vampire, having two or three other people around will lower the level of attention you'll receive and the energy required to be given. If you you find yourself being drained by a conversation, draw a couple of other people into the conversation to take the strain off.
8. Keep Minimal Eye-Contact
If you regularly encounter an energy zapper at work and want to avoid them as best as possible, only occasionally make direct eye-contact when speaking with that person.
This is an obvious indication that you aren't hooked by their allure and are not overly interested in their emotionally-charged conversation.
9. Listen, Don't Talk
Much of the energy you release will come from talking, as you are lured further into the energy pit. Talking requires more energy than listening, and a nod or a “yes” doesn't take much energy either.
To avoid talking too much, ask open-ended questions such as “how” and “why”. This will naturally make the other person do more of the talking. After all, most energy drainers just want an ear to bend, anyway.
10. Reaffirm Your Self-Worth
When feeling drained and negative after an encounter, particularly with the dominator and judgmental types, re-center your energy by repeating positive thoughts and affirmations. Meditation is also a great way to re-channel your positive energy and release the negativity.
11. Change the Focus of the Conversation
When talking with an energy-sucking individual, stick to light-hearted topics. Change the focus of the discussion and neutralize it when it becomes negative, depressing or stressful.
12. Stay Calm, Don't Reactive
Remember, energy vampires want attention; to provoke a reaction from others. Don't rise to the bait. Remain calm and on topic, and deflect invasive and negative comments and suggestions that you don't feel comfortable with.
If you feel yourself becoming emotionally charged, go to point 13.
13. Leave If You Need To
Remember that no one can force you to be around them. So if you find yourself on a day when you just can't deal with this energy leech anymore, take a deep breath and excuse yourself. Go surround yourself with some happy, positive people!
14. Don’t Feel Bad
As previously mentioned, energy vampires feed on your reactions. For them, empathetic people are easy targets, because most energy vampires have low self-worth.
But once they suck on your energy, you’ll be left feeling like you have a void too. Don’t let yourself be dragged into their pity party; walk away or change the focus.
15. Let It All Go
I talk about “letting go” a lot on this blog and, once mastered, many aspects of life become much easier.
No matter how hard some tries, their words can't drain you if you don’t allow them to. It’s not easy, I know, but learning to hear but not absorb and let go will keep your energy high.
In Conclusion
While energy vampires can steal your positive energy, they can’t succeed unless you allow them to affect you.
However, given that most of us are generally compassionate and empathetic, we can’t always keep our distance from such people or the circumstances they are caught up in.
Moreover, any one of our friends or family members could turn into an energy vampire at any given time, depending on what life throws at them. It might be a short phase during an emotional struggle, or a more permanent period of life in the case of real tragedy or trauma.
So rather than avoid people through fear, it is best to remain compassionate and supportive while learning how to manage your time effectively and control your energy distribution.
It's key to know when you need some “me time”, and know what you need to do to recharge.
In my experience, the best way recharge is to surround yourself with positive people whose values align with your own. Remember, you are your own guardian, but the company you keep will help you create a healthy energy space too.
Sara Olivarez says
Awesome article on Energy Vampires and totally awesome advice on how to deal with them. Thanks so much I will use this info when I have to deal with them. I just got out of a situation where a co-worker was an energy vampire and it was very difficult to deal with this person your advice is spot on and will be very helpful for the future.
Sincerely,
Sara Olivarez
Alfred James says
Thanks Sara, I’m glad this information is useful for you. And good to hear you got away from the person who was sucking your energy!
Zoe says
Thank you so much! I am having to look after my 94 year-old mother who has just come out of hospital. She’s always been an arch energy vampire and we’ve always had a difficult relationship.
It’s very difficult to set boundaries when dealing with a close family member who is vulnerable and who you can’t avoid because of their illness or inability to live safely on their own.
I find I am struggling to keep my own life on track (having just recovered from 19 years of M.E.) without seeming selfish.
Alfred James says
As you say, it’s difficult to set boundaries with someone who is vulnerable or suffering illness, or indeed with emotional problems. And with age often comes more anxiety and fear, and therefore more emotional dependence. I am sure you are doing a great job of taking care of your mum, but if it gets too much then try to enlist some help from someone to give you a little time out.
Vee says
Much like me with elderly husband and full time caring, and no one to call on for a break. He seems to fit 1, 4 and 5 Only just discovered this page but had already noted he has markers for Aspergers, narcissism and signs of dementia. I try to distance as much as possible but I am a sociable person who gets very little contact with anyone else – just the nurse, the postie and the man who delivers my groceries.
Rogue says
Just realized my friend of a few years is an energy vampire (as well as a Scorpio), we don’t even have much in common and I must of pitied him as he’s the type of person that makes friends but can’t keep them
Feel he’s an albatross, now to remove him, wish me luck
amber says
Because some fall into this roll and fall back out. Do your part to talk to him about how you feel. Or have you already done that? At least give him the chance to correct or to care I mean generally care. Then make your decision. Im sure you have felt so depleated and depressed while he was feeling the same way . I’m sure you are strong and smart and deserve better.
Jay says
What to do if it’s from a far but you can still feel your energy being drained! Or what to do when someone is harassing you like it? Thinking of you and you feel it energy harassing you? I don’t actually know who it is but I have my ideas. I’ve had people confront me about it and as they see me becoming weak the thrill they get is massive.
Laura Hughes says
What about people who talk too much? I consider them as energy leeches too. I have been in situations with some individuals who won’t stop talking. They irritate me!
Alfred James says
Yes, that can be an energy drain, especially when you just want to be quiet. Some people are very high energy, but in being so drain energy from others and use that to fuel their engine!
Andy Jativa says
I think I had my energy sucked by this weird being. Things haven’t been the same for me… He entered a breakfast store in Coram (Long Island, NY) as soon as he entered I felt something strange…it was an older man around the age of 65-70 years old. He walked with a limp or a drag. I automatically felt his false energy when he walked in. He appeared to be an old wealthy man (dressed preppy) although what caught me by surprise is that he had his entire neck covered in gem necklaces. Various colored gems and he wore them proudly. I tried to avoid his gaze since I felt he was strange, and another thing is that when he entered he automatically started sucking his teeth or sucking in air. In my bright mind, I felt he was weird or even sucking energy came to mind, and I don’t think I’m wrong… he walked sucking in air, loud enough that I could hear it. Mind the fact he had a limp/drag to his feet. The strangest part was that I felt him notice me as I was waiting for my breakfast. I was sitting down on a table waiting and as he walked towards the counter to “order” he suddenly stopped right in front of me but looked ahead, not directly to me. Though he stopped in front of me and continued sucking in air for a few seconds. I didn’t know what to think of it, I felt lost and almost worried. He didn’t directly do anything to me otherwise I would have reacted to it. I remained seated, clueless for those seconds on my phone, until finally a man who walked in a few seconds behind him asked him “Yo what are you doing, you going to order?” I gotta say, I’m thankful that guy said that to him, he suddenly stopped as if he was interrupted. Turned back and looked at him. I couldn’t make out what the weird old man said back to him but he moved and let him go ahead. After that he moved away from me and went to grab a drink (so I thought) he started to suck in air again though, I never understood why. I’ve come to the conclusion that he was sucking energy and I felt he targeted me. Why I say this? The weird man ended up not ordering anything at all, not buying one thing. He just suddenly got what he wanted and just walked out the bagel store. I felt lost as to what his purpose was, and it wasn’t just me who noticed how strange he was. As he walked out the store he made a left (bagel store is in a plaza). As he walked out, I noticed everyone in the store stop what they were doing and simply stared at him walk away. Everyone seemed confused once they looked at him step out. Although in all honesty, I think I’m the only one who noticed him fully walk in and out. He must have been in the store for a good 5-10mins.
I’m not sure what I should do, but things have not been going my way since. I’ve come to the conclusion that that things was a different being, trying to rejuvenate his soul, body, etc I’m not sure. I usually never ever forget a face, I now can’t remember what the man looked like etc for what he was wearing. The most alarming part his gem necklaces he had on. It didn’t not go with his attire it was out of place. He had to be some type of entity…
Amber says
Oh my this is giving me chills. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. I so wish someone would elaborate on this please. And may I ask how you doing since this happened. And have you got any advice or understanding of it all.
Vera says
Sounds demonic/magick/ witchcraft I’d see a priest or someone to hopefully negate what he has done.
You seem very perceptive.
Some don’t “believe” in good/bad , right/wrong Heaven or hell – convenient, but they may be in for a rude shock eventually
I wish you peace & love & pray everything will be righted
yomama says
I wouldn’t read too much into it. He might be in the early stages of dementia. Also, I’ve noticed that a lot of elderly people vocalize a lot like how you describe that man. Heck, I’m only 73 and I do a similar thing occasionally, yet I didn’t when I was younger.
Karen says
This article validates so much for me! Thank you a million times over!
Kester says
Hi! Thank you so much Sara! I’m being attacked at this very moment. This article helped me understand what I’m going through. You are blessed.
Amber says
Thank you for your help from the bottom of my heart. ❤️
Terry says
Great article. I’ve been with an energy vampire for over 30 years (luckily not married, just friends) She’s 69, diabetic, liver disease, monopolizes a conversation, always interrupts after trying to answer one of her questions and so much more. Let’s call her “D”. D agreed to allow a friend of hers to keep some of her clothes at D’s house since her friend moved away and couldn’t take everything with her. She want’s D to periodically send her clothes to her. D is currently paranoid (keeps a chair leaning on the front door knob), a perfectionist (if a restaurant menu touches the utensils, the utensils need to be replaced immediately). D has some other mental issues due to car accidents causing difficulty in remembering and has put herself in a situation where her friend uses her as a doormat and D agrees to send the clothes for her because D said “That’s what friends do for each other”. Evidently, letting D’s house be used rent free to store clothes is what friends do for each other. So, much more going on here. D won’t let a plumber in the house to fix the toilet because she’s afraid what would he think of all the clutter? As if he cares. The perfectionist in D is never satisfied with anything whether it would be a rented hotel room (some minor molecule is out of place) or anything else. A different female friend of mine once told me “Be careful how much you give a woman, because we always want more.” In D’s case, I’m surprised this energy vampire has a mirror reflection.
Alfred James says
It’s difficult. Often those who drain us of the most energy are those who clearly have, diagnosed or not, mental health issues. So you want to be compassionate and have patience, but depending on your tolerance threshold on a given day this can be greatly diminished by their actions.
Anna says
Great article, my husband is a barcissistic type, I am on a verge of leaving him after how he behaved when I was recivering after a surgery. Its not that he doesnt try, but he does things mechanically just because he knows I would get upset if he doesnt bring me water for example. But he quickly lost interest because I was so weak,I had no resources to feed his energy. He says he is willing to work on it, but from what I read about narcissistic types, its easier for them to find a new victim than to be with someone who called them on it. Besides I fear if I stop giving him energy there will be no point for him to be with me. But I also am tired of constantly feeling drained, I am away from him now and feel great. What would be your advice?
Thanks a lot!
Sarah says
I think that you’ve answered your own question.
I just left a narcissistic alcoholic after 9 years
l personally wonder if all addicts are narcissistic.
And there are many forms of addiction. ….
I was relatively positive & motivated and ended up exhausted ill,depressed, anxious & self-loathing. I even felt like a victim.
I remember when i first met him his brand new house had a rotten feeling that I stupidly chose to ignore (red flag) out of desperation for a relationship/company.
Actually there were MANY red flags – his family and friends, lack of insight & empathy to others
He made himself indispensable to me as well – the good old Jekyll & Hyde routine.
Maybe it’s not good to be motivated by fear, in your case sounds like you may be paralyzed by fear. I was too.
Things are better, not perfect, but I’m feeling more motivated and free even though he never “forbade” me to do anything somehow l felt trapped.
After 10 years he still seems like a stranger to me, at least a part of him.
I also feel like a part of me is missing & i don’t mean my heart.
I know now that he was/is sucking the life out of me & l wonder what else.
He’s not totally out of my life – he visits on the weekend not ideal & whilst I am grateful for how he’s helped me, I’m angry at what he may have done to me
Sometimes I wonder if some demonic force is controlling him as he always lands on his feet despite his reckless behavior & he doesn’t seem to have “normal” human emotions/reactions to things.
Prayer has helped me leave him l believe. Does anyone have any advice ?
C says
Hi Sarah,
Hope you’re doing better. Sometimes there is lingering “undealtwith” trauma from this type of relationship. I recommend praying/seeking what your next step is whether it be therapy, counseling, clear distance etc.
Blessings,
Samantha says
I myself am afraid that I am a victim of an energy vampire. I constantly feel aches and, pains throughout my body and, constantly feel drained!!! This person also happens to be a Scorpio and, gets offended whenever I try and, tell him that I need QUIET!!!
I’m in a tough situation. Any suggestions?
Alfred James says
That’s pretty typical behavior. When you try and tell the person that you need some space and some down time they take it really personally and make you feel bad for wanting something quite normal. The only way is to politely explain why you need space and quiet and tell the person exactly how you are going to do that. And make sure you do so they know you are serious and will do it regardless of what they say.
Ann says
I would try praying too.
Lavinia says
It’s often hard to see the forest for the trees when you’re in a difficult situation.
I would take a “holiday” away from him, as far & as long as possible to see if you start feeling different & to gain some perspective.
Preferably in nature & with positive people. Maybe also focus on your health if you’ve been living unhealthily.
Often our repressed thoughts and feelings can manifest physically in aches & illness, maybe our minds trying to get our attention or as a distraction from an “elephant in the room “? Dunno , & l know it can be hard to acknowledge something we fear like the need for change.
Maybe he somehow is feeling trapped & frustrated too but isn’t aware of it as l believe men are often dissociated from their feelings, only recognising obvious ones like happiness, anger, hunger, lust etc. They possibly don’t want to admit feeling vulnerable or out of control. Just generalising here.
Shaoli Mitra says
Loved these strategies! I felt I already knew a few of them subconsciously 🙂 I first learnt about energy vampires from a book by Master Choa Kok Sui….a strategy in that book mentioned closing the aura by crossing the arms &/or legs. Unfortunately, a family member very close to me is an innocent energy vampire. I hope she raises her vibrations soon..
Alfred James says
If not, give yourself some distance. It’s amazing how a bit of space can help recharge your reserves.
Nicole jones says
Where do I start I’ve come out of a marriage with a narcissist a boyfriend who was a sociopath then I healed meditation and counselling. Then I think I’ve had a relationship of three months with a highly intelligent man I think he could have Aspergers and he has drained me of my energy. He never had a job for a while and he was taking care of his son who has a brain tumour, I was drawn to him because my son also has a brain tumour. He just started messaging me a lot, I did have boundaries he kept to most of them. Then his son got better after his treatment. He got a job and for some unknown subconscious reason I reacted really badly to the news he got a job. I kind of knew that he wasn’t going to have enough time for me, because it was a long distance relationship and in fact I had been used. He used to like to try and get a reaction from me but I rarely took the bate. Then he asked me to go and see him 200 miles away cooked me food gave me flowers birthday presents, then when it was time for me to go home he couldn’t wait for me to go something felt really off. A day later he finished with me. After reading this I know I have to raise my vibrations, these people are feeding off my negativity from me trusting people to tell my sad stories to I’m also very empathetic and they just feed off me. And it sucks!
This man just used me. My sister is spiritual and she thought he was weird and creepy with a sadistic streak she was right .
Alfred James says
Sorry to hear about your situation Nicole. I agree that raising your vibration with more positivity will make you less vulnerable to attracting such people into your life. It is difficult though when you are a trusting person and see the good in people.
Karla says
It’s good that you’re perceptive to the nuances of a relationship & are in tune with your gut feeling.
I was/am in a relationship where I couldn’t even describe what I was feeling ! It was so weird & strange.
You’re probably well rid of him he may not be aware of what he’s doing, but obviously not mindful & if it leaves you in a worse place – who needs that?
Anise says
Hi Nicole, l know you’re probably feeling confused & angry.
I’ll try & give you a different perspective. …
I used to get depressed and feel worthless after a break up believing that I wasn’t “good enough”.
I’d spend far too long analysing things. I know now it had a lot to do with how i grew up & the lack of sense of worth instilled in me.
Narcissism in it’s extreme (like any extremes) isn’t good for anyone really, however we all need to be a little narcissistic to survive at times if not all the time.
Try not to feel too sore re the man with Aspergers as he probably could not see the situation from your viewpoint. He also may have been wanting to close a door on a bad chapter in his life & you may have been a “reminder” this seems to happen often re tragedies,
lf situations don’t strengthen a relationship they seem to do the opposite. It may be that he didn’t know how to “end it” & you had a “last supper” with him unbeknown to you.
Take back your power , close that door and move on as you may never get the closure or answers you want.
People do things that are confusing at times as we all think differently & have different motives & men are generally less emotionally intelligent. Forgive him for your own sake.
I’m sure that you’ll deal with this favorably
Maureen says
How can you raise your vibrations? I invited a woman and her granddaughter to come live with me to help with my partner with dementia knowing full well the woman never shut up. Reading your classification of energy vampires I find she fits all except the last classification. Is that possible? It is only in the last couple of months her teenage granddaughter has seen her for what she really is with the negativity and criticism. I have just gone through a month of radiation oncology and feel so drained although that is not a side effect of the treatment. They have been here 6 months and there are 4 more months to go before she is to leave. My energy is so low it is sucking the life out of me and I need to know how to build it up.
Did I mention the woman has no filters and every passing thought comes out of her month?
A says
Boost up on your anixotdents .
Figs are a vital antioxidant and gives u clean energy .
Best ,
A~
Katy Dalligan says
This is fantastic. I’ve recently written something similar myself after discovering that I am an empath. Reading this gave me some extra coping mechanisms that I think will help me. I work with a lot of energy vampires, and I work a lot of hours so knowing how to deal with these people is really important for my own mental health, so thank you for some fresh ideas, I will definitely be trying them out.
Vickie says
I am an empath born March 26th I’m on disability living in apartment complex that is 62 and older and disabled I am the youngest one. I’ve been here for five years and I’ve never been more depressed and drained in my whole life. Used to feel very dark thick energy definitely dissipated people dying I feel that I feel elderly people have many motives they live their life in the live their life in a way they know how to survive and it isn’t always truthful honest Pleasant. I experienced it all I tried it mean happy and smiling when I’m around people I do not allow myself to get attached I found myself locking myself in my house never going outside staying in bed weeks on end completely drains in depressed this place I feel like the devil is literally sitting on my chest. Is the new apartment complex that’s coming up I was approved and I’ve been having back and forth anxiety on whether I should stay here because these are Better Built and are moved into the new ones which are not but they are bigger I have a private patio and I don’t have neighbors we’re here where I live now it’s like a hotel where the other apartments you have individual walk up to your door and I’ll be surrounded by people of all ages. I’ve been having severe anxiety over whether I should move or not trying to figure out if it’s my gut or if it’s my intuitive or if it’s my fear or just might non motivation because this place still is sucking the life out of me and I can’t seem to rise above it. I need answers please
Cathy says
Personally I’d probably move. Maybe try to get the dwelling cleansed & get some clarity on the situation.
At the end of the day these people may be up to no good & not know any better (unevolved) & l firmly believe the “devil can make work for idol hands” esp if there is drinking etc going on.
Maybe your apparent or the whole complex is “cursed” in some way. Sometimes jealousy rears it’s ugly head & some allow jealousy to tske over them – who knows – food for thought – Good luck & God bless
EG says
My relationship ended with my now ex (energy vampire) getting arrested for domestic violence, are this people capable of being in a healthy relationship? I was in this relationship for 4 years and i could feel all these things and this is the first time i read about this.
I have a feeling she will blame me for everything since there’s no accountability.
Currently dealing with depression & anxiety due to the breakup and how things ended.
Alfred James says
I’m sorry to hear of your situation, but it sounds like you’ll be much better off once you get past this rough patch. Unfortunately the outcome is often one of the person taking zero responsibility and changing the story to divert blame.
EG says
Alfred,
Thanks for your kind words, Im trying to do research on what happened in my relationship and the type of people we are to understand what went wrong and this article made sense. I could take accountability for things I did because nobody is perfect but she will use gaslighting to mask and justify her actions blaming me for initiating the problems and such.
Mags says
Read some of Joe Navaro, confessions of a sociopath-hiding in plain sight & the five types of people who will.make your life miserable
Kiffleh says
If you are not happy by yourself, no one will make you happy. Remember this: you are not your thoughts, feelings and emotions. They are all transient. Engage in some activities using your hands like fixing things and learn to do things mechanically. You will be fine sooner than you expect. Time heals.
Lady Victoria says
I find the term “energy vampire” to be very derogatory towards other fellow human beings and it takes viewing the world from a dualistic perspective – that is in terms of self and other.
In actuality there is no such thing as self and other. We are all ONE in the eyes of God. Also energy is neither created or destroyed. There’s nothing that anyone can take from you in regards to your energy that you cannot easily replenish. You can do this simply and easily through meditation, listening to uplifting music, eating a wholesome meal or getting a good night sleep. Energy is abundant, plentiful and infinite.
We all want to be happy and inwardly we want all others to be happy too. When we come across people who are not in alignment with source energy our Higher self naturally tries to bring them up to your vibrational level and this can sometimes feel draining. However we do this because your Higher Self LOVES ALL UNCONDITIONALLY even though you yourself may not be consciously aware of it.
If you often feel that others are sucking up your energy it is because you are sucking up the energy of others. If you didn’t do this yourself to others no one you come in contact with would ever make you feel this way.
I encourage you to treat people who you think of as draining your energy with love, tenderness, and compassion. If you do this not only will you not feel drained or energy depleted by them but you will ignite the divine source of energy within you and be transformed by it.
Alfred James says
Some of us are unfortunate enough to have people in our lives for whom we care about and love very much but who have considerable self-awareness issues, and/or narcissistic tendencies. This greatly impacts our lives and affects our mental health. it can cause depression. No matter how much you try to raise the person up to a better vibration they remain dismissive of their actions and are not willing to take any steps to change. Over time this becomes draining, no matter how much of a positive, compassionate person you are. Energy Vampire, while not the nicest of terms is the common term used, which is why I wrote around this term. But let’s not focus on semantics. My focus is on helping those who suffer as a result and on giving them better coping mechanisms.
Lady Victoria says
Yes I agree there are people that are in a lower vibrational state because their thoughts are not in alignment with Source energy. And it’s okay to socially distance yourself from people who you feel are bringing you down or you feel are a danger to you because you yourself are not in alignment with Source energy, and take some time to do spiritual work in order to bring yourself up there.
Ultimately you want to get to a point where no one can drain your energy or bring down your vibration. That’s the best “coping” mechanism you can have.
But the thing I want to emphasis is that the reason you feel “drained” or “sucked dry” energy wise isn’t because of what this supposed “other” person is doing to you. The reason you feel this way is because of your own thought negativity being projected onto others. Meaning they aren’t the ones draining you. You are draining yourself through a negative highly imaginative undisciplined mind.
Listing a bunch of types of “energy vampires” is setting up a mindset of victimhood. That for some reason it’s the outer world that’s blocking your vibrational alignment. It’s not. It’s your inner world that’s blocking your alignment. You project your inner world unto the outer world, not the other way around.
You give somewhat good advice however you are missing a really big component of the equation and I just felt the need to point this out. Because if you don’t do the inner work of transforming your negative thought patterns into positive thought patterns you will continue a cycle of attracting these so called “energy vampires” into your life repeatedly. The only escape from these scenarios is through your own personal transformation. Not through running away and avoidance. Instead you’ll run yourself right back into a similar negative situations and people.
Even if you attempt surround yourself with only “positive” outside influences and avoid “negative” outside influences without doing the inner work those supposed “positive” people in you life will all of sudden disappoint you and become something you think of as an energy vampire as well.
Avoidance isn’t discipline.
You can always send people thoughts of love, compassion, forgiveness, kindness and understanding from a distance. Heck with pandemic I’m doing that constantly.
I send loving healing thoughts to you Alfred and all those reading this 🙂
Thank you for your articles and thank you for responding to my comment.
Cinnamon says
Did I read somewhere that “Energy Vampires” can talk endlessly?
Rad68 says
What if these people are your neighbor and
they have security cameras night vision
and everyy movement you make they always look, stare whatever crap they do give me bad vibes .
Can anyone help me with this situation I’m having because it is really affecting me whole life . Someone please help
Alfred James says
I think you probably have a case to complain to the authorities. Surely there is an infringement of your privacy in this case?
Graham says
Maybe drop a carefully composed letter into their letterbox explaining how their actions are making you feel without sounding aggressive so they can’t respond defensively.
Maybe suggest eg that tgey slightly alter their camera angle as it makes you uncomfortable hanging out with your friends -or even just hanging out the washing !
With the emphasis on ” l feel like …”
It puts the ball in their court & the onus is on them to respond. They may be genuinely unaware of the situation.
Also maybe block their canera view if it’s angled over your property by a large shrub or structure etc
James says
Not here to Leech but sometimes i feel i’m a vampire myself, in the past i have whitnessed traumatic experiences, almost lost a parent because of a suicide attempt because of the years of petrayel from the other parent, met first born was really sick at birth so it was very hospitalising at the beginning, my spouche suffered along time with depression and later i think i was to.
Since Those experiences i f i struggle more
with anger, sad en negativly talking about alot of things, i really don’t want this anymore because not only for myself but also because i’m afraid i Will negativly effect my partner and my childeren
I have reached die proffesional help but no luck so far, because of long waiting lists and beuracicy. Someone maby have some small advice what i could do to keep me from going any deeper in the Pit?
jennifer Harding says
I knew up trapped between Narcissists and highly sensitive people. Though I tried with all my might to avoid types like that I managed to be married to a covert Narcissist for over 20 years without ever really grasping that he just needed my attention. He had really destructive effects on my health both physical and mental. He found a new supply and only then did I realise he was draining the life out of me. It was a huge blow to realise his “love” was not compassionate and unconditional like mine had been. I feel much better and can think much more clearly now he has been away from me for a while. The new supply seems conpassionate but I have a feeling she is also a covert Narcissist. His judgement about people is impaired because he needs them so much to give him endless approval.
Your article is very good and enlightening.
Brenda says
Sounds like he did you a favor! You have a gift of freedom and insight
Just try and forgive him & close that chapter of your life, don’t waste any more time or energy on what was or could have been”
Ian says
How do I stop being an energy vampire? I didn’t used to be one but my wife tells me the first two years of our marriage and while we were dating I was wonderful. But then, when my father died, I started spending time with my mother who we think is an energy vampire. For the past six years my wife has been feeling abused by me. I really want to change this dynamic but I don’t know when I’m doing it (it isn’t all the time) and I don’t know how to reform. Please, can you tell me what could help?
Alfred James says
hen you say she has been feeling abused, what do you mean? Can you elaborate a little?
Jane D says
I know someone who has characteristics of each and every one of these types except the innocent energy vampire. Is this possible, or am I just being too hard and unduly unfair on this person?
A says
Agree
Just posted a similar comment
Mags says
I had a relationship with someone we just call Stupid. We no longer use his name. First contact was message via dating site. I later learned it was based on lies. Claimed moved out (to the RV in the yard). That was September 2016.
Gave him my lawyers # said get divorced. I would not give my phone # until divorce filed. We 1st met December 2016. May 2017 was prostate cancer diagnosis. I said he could stay post op with me. it was only 4 months. Then the drama began! Surgery delay.
January 2018 he was cancer free and DV had begun. I fled my home one night in my PJs in fear. March 6, 2018, I came home he had spent day packing his belongings. This triggered in me a “Matrix” moment and suddenly I saw all the lies, the betrayal, the outrage.
Shockingly, the worst was not over. I’ve been to court twice for temporary protection orders. He drove 30+ minutes to work 2 hour shifts @$14/hr at my church to drive past my home 40+ times a week. Trespassing, vandalism. Petty Intimidation.
When my church had enough of his damage, they let him go. He hired an attorney to fight them. When he lost, he filed a harassment petition against me- trying to get me 1 mile from church, which basically meant my home– based on lies to the court that he still worked there.
Police here at house March 9, 2020. Another trip to the courts- for no help, although, the judge berated him profusely. I have been slow to reduce my anger, because it feels like the energy keeps him at bay.
Last week I started fixing things he broke, and doing forgiveness work. Then Friday, I became agitated, and first time since COVID felt I had to get out of the house, and there he was in a disquise, walking down my street!
People who victim blame “that my vibe was low” & I lured him”, really piss me off! I was at my best ever! Happy, debt under control, lots of therapy & issues worked thru, best boss ever, etc.
I wrote him a letter in April, 2018, only because he wouldn’t get his stuff out of the driveway! I let him know I wanted no contact! Except court I have had no contact. He sent papers– bleh. Through court he knows I will not even read his court docs.
HOW DO I GET THIS VILE ENTITY TO LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!?! Not cute glib, change body language. Each time I get over him, he escalates until something must be done–
Do Not Even tell me to go to the courts. Even if I could get an order for more than a few months, he isn’t the sort to follow it. He violated the first one twice in 48 hours.
I felt like I had been electrocuted out of my body- I saw a floppy blue hat on a body– and WHAM! I was not aware it was him until after the jolt!.I was in my dull grey Asian sedan, so he wouldn’t have known I saw him.
lisa says
iwas just with a friend thats a engry vampire she really drained my energy from lisa
Dhari says
Sit down, close your eyes. Breath in and breathe out until you feel centered and focused. By that I mean you become no longer aware or thinking of anything else except you. Start feeling and imagining your energy coming back to you from the person or place or situation you are aware that you left it at or had been stolen from you. Although this habbit of giving your energy up happened when your being innocent as a child and growing up around this society that is programmed to suck and drain the life of themselves and all that’s around them. Your weakness is your fault and you have to take responsibility of it. Start feeling strong and elevated, imagine what that feels like and keep imagining it.
Annie says
Very interesting and informative. Where can i read more of your articles? Thank you!! 🙂
Alfred James says
Right here, on this blog 🙂
Ramon says
Alfred, thank you for all your great work bro! After this article I feel much better and I will try to work on myself! It is not easy to start with taking proper care of yourself, focus on yourself, just get rid of all these toxicity, doing whatever you like without worrying about someone else, making your mind free from pain and anxiety and living your life in a meaningful way, but.. it’s worth a try!
I wish you a lot of success, good health and happiness in your life!
I hope everyone that is reading this is having a really good day. And if you are not, just know that in every new minute that passes you have an opportunity to change that!
A says
Good article
Broke free from a a multi-dimension vampire in late 2018
All fit except for innocent ….
Sometimes you don’t know until you can look back at it in the rear view mirror.
We are all far too accommodating for too long
Katherine says
These toxic people, and the tactics used to control, subvert, and abuse others for their benefit know no bounds. A 35 year marriage has taught me that.
Indifference is a disease which cannot be cured. People only change who want to. Learn to set firm boundaries, and take care of yourself I say.
Alfred James says
I couldn’t have said it better myself 🙂
Katherine says
Thank you; very empowering feedback 😌
Lauren says
What if you friend of many years displays all but no2 of the vampire types and has a way of sabotaging her close relationships. I don’t even want to deal with her but I’ve know her for 60 years, it’s hard to watch the train wreck and the personality traits that are contributing to the mess. I’ve pulled back but now she is not her usual self and is going thru my family to garner support for her friendship. Because she has trouble facing her demons that shaped her I don’t trust her or trust giving her much information regarding my family. She is in counseling for depression because she can’t understand why her marriage failed and her daughter won’t have anything to do with her. I don’t think the counselor addresses her personality traits so improvement is hopeless. Is there anything I can do to steer her in the right direction for the counseling?
Alfred James says
It’s so tough, Lauren. Often such people have narcissistic traits that prevent them from making the connection between their behavior and the outcomes in their lives. If you point these traits out, they become defensive and may turn on you. It is very difficult to explain to such a person that they are self-sabotaging. In the end, the only person that sticks around to be there for them is an empath, who finds it difficult to just give up on them. Do what you can, but at arm’s length, and put your family first.
Tellthetruth says
If you say you are without sin you deceive yourselves and the truth isn’t in you. The devil is a liar. There is no truth in him so the people that roll with the devil always DARK ENERGY. Energy sucking vampires held captive to do the devil’s will. Always on the hunt for new blood new victims waiting for weak vulnerable people who don’t know God or have a connection to light. These are children of the devil. Choose your side. You who complain so much don’t realize you too are energy suckers, blaming the others for sucking your energy. Examine yourselves. And get right with God instead of going in circles.